Friday, July 31, 2009

Foooke Maaann: Recession reach Jamaica

It’s been awhile since i’ve ranted, lately it’s been a little too hot to even have an opinion about anything. I’ve been a little numb, but there’s been a little ache in my stomach from hunger lately and i’ve realized all of a sudden that FUCK, WE’RE IN A RECESSION HERE.

Alright so we’re all aware that we’re knee-deep in the middle of a worldwide economic catastrophe. Millions are being laid off, Lehman Brothers collapsed in September, there are thousands of cars just sitting in lots that will NOT be moving anytime soon and i’m starting to seriously consider planting a yam patch in the backyard [and maybe a banana and a cassava one, and definitely need fi start keep couple fowl roun de too].

While other citizens of world were running around like headless chickens and China was wondering where all their rice had gone a number of Jamaican’s [myself included] were still wondering what the hell a recession was and why couldn’t we just print more money to fix the problem? [I mean really it’s just paper anyway right?]

Everyone’s starting to get it all of a sudden people are really start to feel it... I’d better get myself a job or something because this shit is starting to burn people’s pockets, we can barely afford to put tins of sardine in the cupboard, tourists [pretty much our only source of international revenue] can't afford to come here anymore what the hell is gonna happen by the end of the year? Let's see, what's the rest of the Caribbean doing?

Caribbean countries dependent on tourism for jobs, foreign exchange and as the main driver of economic activity are being bombarded by the sharp downturn in the global travel industry. Consequently, several of these countries have had to knock at the doors of multilateral lending agencies seeking financial support, while those that are dependencies are being shored up by their 'mother' countries.

Already, St Vincent & The Grenadines, St Lucia and Dominica have sought support from the International Monetary Fund (IMF), and Grenada has had its existing arrangement augmented to deal with the effects of the crisis. St Kitts is expected to do the same. To date, Antigua & Barbuda, the Bahamas and Barbados have not gone to the IMF, although their external accounts must be hurting from the slump in tourism. For the next two to three years, these regional economies will remain shaky as recovery of global economic activity, to which the fortunes of the travel industry are tied, is expected to proceed at a slow pace. (The Sunday Gleaner July 26, 2009)

Ahh, that's right, we can always borrow from the IMF again. It's not like we'll be able to repay ANY of our 80 BILLION dollar debt anytime EVER, so why the hell not? Do you need collateral for this sort of thing [I really don't know] 'cause if so then we're FUCKED. It's no wonder the government is introducing a $5000 bill [worth only $55 US] Is it me or does Hugh Shearer NOT look very happy to be on there?

If that wasn’t bad enough I have to worry about global warming too!? The temperature has pretty much been a steady 90 degrees in the past few weeks, the meteorologist [assuming he actually knows what he’s talking about] is calling it one of the hottest summers since [whenever it was he said] and there hasn't been a drop of rain in weeks, this is officially drought and famine, did somebody forget to tell me this is the apocalypse? Or that the hole in the ozone layer is directly above Jamaica?

Let’s just all pray we don’t run out of food and have to resort to cannibalism, because I hear that after a few weeks of starvation the prospect of eating even one’s OWN flesh starts to look a little tempting.
P.S Bruce, legalizing marijuana is looking like a pretty good option right now, just sayin...consider it!

It's all looking pretty grim from where i'm standing, but i'll remain optimistic until the line at KFC on a Friday starts getting shorter.

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